Concerned parents, teachers, and adults advise against early marriage. But they rarely tell the truth about marriage, as it really is in modern middle-class America. The truth, as I see it, is that contemporary marriage is a miserable institution. It means the end of voluntary affection, of love freely given and received with joy.
Beautiful romances are transmuted into boring marriages, and eventually the relationship becomes restrictive, corrosive, crushing and destructive. The beautiful love story turns into a bitter contract. Marriage is what happens when the state engages in supporting and regulating personal relationships. Rectifying the heterosexism of traditional marriage through recognition of same-sex marriage has been a vital political advance.
Therefore, relationship contracts circumvent unequal access to marriage and unequal law within marriage. Therefore, state recognition of marriage can only be justified by claiming that marriage has a single value; but this does not treat single people equally either. They speak solemnly and sincerely about working to make their marriage successful, but they are well aware of the countless marriages they have seen fail. Instead, the bride and groom are offered cleaning tips and told to work hard to make their marriage successful.
In progressive circles, marriage has come back into fashion as the movement to recognize same-sex marriage has gained popular and legal support in many countries, including the United Kingdom, the United States, the Netherlands, Belgium, the Nordic countries, Spain, France, Ireland, Canada and Australia. Otherwise, be prepared to deal with a very short and tumultuous marriage or a very long and miserable marriage. It determines whether the marriage should be between a man and a woman, or whether same-sex marriage is allowed. In a matrimonial regime, the legal rights and duties granted to married persons are granted only because they are married, and not because they are engaging in relationship practices that create vulnerability or are unique to marriage.
